hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
