ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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