whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
