My nipple is on Facebook.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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