Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
