one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
