I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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