If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just blew my weed a kiss
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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