he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
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How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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