I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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