i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
