i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
