Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
