and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
