Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
