Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Randomize
