who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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