its not stalking. its research.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
