just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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