My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
