you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
