If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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