It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
