I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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