How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
