no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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