When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You're a waste of cheezeits
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
