i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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