Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is it because I queefed?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
