I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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