I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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