My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
