In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
