I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
