I bet he comes in French.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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