Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
