Joe is yelling at the trees again.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
