But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
