i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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