He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
