You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
