You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
