Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
