apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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