peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
