hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
