I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
operation harelip BJ is a go
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
