You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
