i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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