Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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