this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
