so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
As shirtless as possible
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
