shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
