I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
